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Clinton/Iraq Digest (Funny Guy)
(smirk to chuckle, sexual, heard it, sick)

I've digested a number of the (so-called) quickies that I've received regarding the latest Clinton and Iraq brou-hah-hahs. These are jokes which are funny, but which didn't really warrant posting separately. I post such a digest whenever I have enough entries to warrant it. Particularly selective readers will probably not enjoy the digests, and may want to killfile RHF jokes with "Digest" in the title - ed.

        =       =       =       =       =       =       = 
>From: (Stuart Baker) 
>Organization: Canton, NY Office of Economic Development 
>Subject: The Holiday Rush Over Iraq 

Overheard at a meeting this morning:

"Only two more bombing days until Ramadan!"

= = = = = = = >From: (Sean Ellis) >Subject: Cruise Missile Accuracy

(Baghdad) After reports that a cruise missile destined for a military target in Iraq landed on a border town in Iran, US military sources have announced a change to the stated accuracy of cruise missiles, from "20 yards" to "one letter."

= = = = = = = >From: (Barak Pearlmutter) >Subject: House Unamerican Activities Committee reconstituted

Congress has reconstituted its infamous House Unamerican Activities Committee, but there have been a few changes. For instance, the notorious question faced by hostile witnesses has been ammended:

Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party, or of any organization (except the Republican party) dedicated to the overthrow of the government of the United States of America?

= = = = = = = >From: (D. V. Henkel-Wallace) >Subject: Clinton's views on trial

Clinton's sure he'll win his trial in the senate.

After all he's always been a man without conviction and he has no intention of changing now!

= = = = = = = >From: (John Atkinson) >Subject: The Pinochet Stratagem?

British diplomacy has at last come up with a solution to the Iraq crisis ...

... Saddam Hussein has been invited to London for a medical check-up.

(With acknowledgement to Mail on Sunday cartoonist Heath)

= = = = = = = >From: (David Lesher) >Subject: Looking for the bright side....

It's a rather traumatic week in US politics. Now we likely wonder, "When will it all be over....?"

But looking for a bright side, I suddenly realised:

The Senate is in effect "The Court"...

The Senators are the jurors.

The Chief Justice is the Judge. During the trial, the jurors do NOT talk; they listen.

Further, the jurors can not talk to the press either.

I could REALLY enjoy this part... How long can we drag it out.....?

= = = = = = = >From: (JokeMaster) >Organization: - >Subject: Best Iraqi Job

Q: What is the best Iraqi job?

A: Foreign Ambassador

= = = = = = = >From: (Scott Compton) >Subject: New Gulf Conflict

The government has dubbed the new conflict "Operation Desert Fox," but the folks here are calling it the "Missiles for Monica" program.

= = = = = = = >From: (TOM KAN PA) >Organization: AOL >Subject: CNN said about Clinton..........

Well ladies and gentlemen, by now you have heard that we are once again at war with Iraq. This just seems to add to the difficulties of our nation with impeachment looming for the president. So it seems that Bill Clinton is caught between Iraq and a hard on.

= = = = = = = >From: (npr34652) >Subject: bill clinton

Bill Clinton has found a way to get even with Saddam. He is appointing Ken Starr ambassador to Iraq.

= = = = = = = >From: (Frederick W. Wheeler) >Subject: Impeachment Trial Closing Arguments

As the United States prepares for the impeachment trial of Bill Clinton, I wonder if the President's legal strategy could lead to Johnny Cochrane addressing the U.S. Senate, repeating over and over,

"If the cigar doesn't fit, you must acquit!"

= = = = = = = >From: (Mark Jackman) >Subject: Clinton/Livingston

Bob Livingston on his resignation: "I'd rather have a downturn to ignomy than an intern go down on me!"

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