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This satirical look at political correctness is from Project Nonsensizine, my online humor "zine". It can be found at http://www.pnx.com/falken/ProjectNonsensizine.html and wherever fine jokes are sold. (Okay, I lied, it can only be found at the address I just gave you.) --- ********************************** NBA LAWBOOK RULED UNCONSTITUTIONAL ********************************** The Supreme Court upheld a lower court ruling that the rules in the NBA display reverse discrimination against people less than 6'9" tall. In the 95-96 season, the NBA will be required to lower the basket to a height of three feet, so midgets can slam dunk as well. Most NBA analysts predict that this lower basket will change the game of basketball drastically. The Nonsensizine sports expert claims: "Goaltending calls will happen a lot more. Any ball which is blocked while on its downward arc is considered a goaltend. With the basket at three feet, we predict that most shot attempts will be on their downward arc right at the very start." However, the NBA comissioner was quoted as saying, "at least we won't have any players hanging from the rim anymore." This may not be the case. A new expansion team, the Milwaukee Midgets, will consist of five vertically challenged players. The tallest player, the 1'8" center from Vermont, claims that the new league rules allow him to live his lifelong dream. A similar court ruling, expected to go to the supreme court, will probably require the NBA to remove any rules discriminating against those players who do not have any skill. It is predicted that the three point line will be moved to within one yard of the basket. The basket will also be made much larger. People can also begin to expect seeing a twenty yard football field, par 837 golf courses, and tennis courts with no definate "out of bounds" area. The rulings will be much more subjective in most sports in the 21st century. It is predicted that by 2018, scores will be abolished all together, with everyone instead getting "good job" ribbons. While most equality groups say this will be a great step forward, most sports analysts say, quite simply, "This sucks."
(From the "Rest" of RHF)
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