[Note - the following are the best of the Hugh Grant jokes submitted to date - ed.] = = = = = = = From: email@example.com (Discord) Subject: Hugh Grant is... I was on the phone with a friend of mine tonight, and he asked if I'd heard about the arrest of Hugh Grant. While briefly discussing it, he characterized Hugh Grant as "The Englishman who went up a hill, but went down on a ho." = = = = = = = From: firstname.lastname@example.org (drhodes) Organization: Hercules Computer Technology Subject: Hugh Grant's New Film (original) I actually thought of this one myself: In light of Hugh Grant's recent involvement with the authorities, the title of his upcoming film will be changed from "Nine Months" to... "Nine Months with Time Off for Good Behavior." = = = = = = = From: email@example.com (Neal A. Parish) Subject: Hugh Grant & Christopher Reeve Q: How is Hugh Grant different from Christopher Reeve's horse? A: Hugh has no problem jumping anything. Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Funny Guy) Subject: Hugh Grant one-liners Keywords: smirk, sexual Approved: email@example.com [Note - more submissions for the Hugh Grant one-liner file - ed.] ----- >From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Ronnen Levinson) >Subject: Hometown News In the wake of Hugh Grant's automotive adventure: Sunday's San Francisco Examiner ran a front-page article, complete with a color photo of Stella Marie Thompson, a.k.a. Divine Brown, entitled Grant's hooker is from Bay Area Star's 'car date' reportedly got big bucks for interview I wonder if the editors thought they were running a "local girl makes good" story? ----- >From: email@example.com (Geoffrey Kidd) >Subject: New Hugh Grant movie Hugh Grant has announced that his costar in his next movie will be Pee Wee Herman. ----- >From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Colonel Custard) >Subject: Hugh Grant joke Q. What's Hugh Grant's favourite drink? A. Horlicks. ----- >From: email@example.com (dbk) >Subject: hugh grant joke Reporting this story, the UK Guardian newspaper finished, ostensibly unintentionally, with the comment "Mr Grant is unavailable for comment. He is just hoping that it will all blow over." Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Funny Guy) Subject: More Hugh Grant one-liners Keywords: topical, smirk, swearing, sexual Approved: email@example.com [Note - below find more jokes from the ever-increasing Hugh Grant file - ed.] = = = = = = = From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Scott Babb) Subject: Hugh Grant Baseball? Heard on Rock 101 (WGIR FM, Manchester, NH) during a newscast this morning: "...the Red Sox relief pitchers have blown more leads than Divine Brown..." = = = = = = = From: NJPSYCH@aol.com Subject: Hugh Grant's New Car This joke was told to me by a friend at work. Why did Hugh Grant buy a BMW? More head room. = = = = = = = From: email@example.com (Rick Busser) Organization: StorageTek Subject: Hugh for President I think if Hugh Grant ever decides to run for President he could use the old "She sucked but didn't swallow" excuse that worked so well for Clinton. = = = = = = = From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Mike) Subject: Hugh Grant I forget where I heard it, but I understand Mr. Grant's next movie will be called "Four Twenties and a Hooker." = = = = = = = From: email@example.com (Jennifer Nolan) Subject: Hugh Grant jokes (yet another) In case you're still compiling one-liners... A local radio station was having listeners call or fax in what they thought would be good headlines for the Hugh Grant fiasco. The winner was a fax entry: Hugh's Divine Ho Hum = = = = = = = From: JanR200171@aol.com Subject: HUGH GRANT ALIBI HEARD ON WDNG RADIO ANNISTON,ALBAMA: HUGH GRANT'S EXCUSE TO HIS GIRLFRIEND: MY CAR BROKE DOWN AND I WAS GETTING A $60 "TOW" JOB. = = = = = = = From: firstname.lastname@example.org (William Justin Williams) Subject: Hugh Grant & Hockey From Ron McLean on 7/6's Hockey Awards: "And Detroit...gotta love those octopi. Eight limbs flailing everywhere, and loads of bad ink...sounds like Hugh Grant's car. Hugh Grant was sentenced the other day...he got 2 minutes in the box for hooking." = = = = = = = From: email@example.com (Bill Rourke) Organization: Delphi (firstname.lastname@example.org email, 800-695-4005 voice) Subject: Re: Hugh Grant one-liners Heard on the radio: "Hugh Grant sucked into controversy". = = = = = = = From: email@example.com (P.J. Geraghty) Subject: hugh grant This morning on radio staion WBIG (100.3 FM) in Washington DC, the song "you can't hurry love" finished and the DJ led in saying "Well, you can't hurry love...unless you're Hugh Grant and the light's about to change..." = = = = = = = From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Christopher Jones) Subject: Car designs for movie stars From the radio: Q. What BMW design feature does Hugh Grant like most? A. All that head room.
(From the "Rest" of RHF)
The Internet Jokebook|
Featuring the very best of netfunny.com on dead trees.