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TQM from on high

jks2x@fermi.clas.virginia.edu (Jason K. Schechner)
(chuckle)

This was forwarded to me by a friend (paul_conlon@kenan.com) who got it from a friend of his. I thought I'd share it with the rest of the world. Anyone know the original source? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?


GOD'S TOTAL QUALITY MANAGEMENT QUESTIONNAIRE 3/3/95

God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage. In order to better serve your needs, He asks that you take a few moments to answer the following questions.

Please keep in mind that your responses will be kept completely confidential, and that you need not disclose your name or address unless you prefer a direct response to comments or suggestions.

1. How did you find out about God? 
      
        __ Newspaper                    __ Other Book 
        __ Television                   __ Divine Inspiration 
        __ Word of mouth                __ Near Death Experience  
        __ Bible                        __ Other 
        __ Torah                             (specify): _____________ 
      
2. Are you currently using any other source of inspiration in addition  
to God?  Please check all that apply. 
      
        __ Tarot                        __ Lottery 
        __ Horoscope                    __ Television  
        __ Fortune cookies              __ Ann Landers  
        __ Self-help books              __ Sex 
        __ Biorythms                    __ Alcohol or drugs 
        __ Mantras                      __ Other: _____________________  
        __ Insurance policies           __ None 
      
3. God employs a limited degree of Divine Intervention to preserve the  
balanced level of felt presence and blind faith.  Which would you  
prefer (circle one)? 
      
                a. More Divine Intervention 
                b. Less Divine Intervention 
                c. Current level of Divine Intervention is just right  
                d. Don't know 
      
4. God also attempts to maintain a balanced level of disasters and  
miracles.  Please rate on a scale of 1 - 5 his handling of the  
following (1=unsatisfactory, 5=excellent): 
      
        a. Disasters (flood, famine, 
             earthquake, war)                 1   2   3   4   5 
      
        b. Miracles (rescues, spontaneous 
             remission of disease, sports 
             upsets)                          1   2   3   4   5 
      
5. Do you have any additional comments or suggestions for improving  
the quality of God's services?  (Attach an additional sheet if  
necessary):  _________________________________________________________  

Thank you!


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