[ Translated, re-edited, puritanically censored where deemed reasonable by A.R. Pruss (firstname.lastname@example.org). Original Polish text from email@example.com. Obviously some of humour the original has to have been lost, except in one case where we actually gained a good pun for free in literal translation :-) (Will you spot it?) The original jokes were set in Wachock, Poland; the place names were changed to make the jokes more euphoneous for the English reader. ] Ever had a nightmare about being stuck in a small town without Internet access, or even UUCP? If so, Slane, B.C., is your nemesis. - Why do all the faithful lie down in the church in Slane? - The priest has a low voice. - Why do all people in Slane wear helmets? - The rope in the belltower broke and the bellringer throws stones. - Why did they build a higher belltower in the church in Slane? - The rope was too long. - Why are there four bridges in Slane? - They only managed to hit the river on the fourth try. - Why does the mayor of Slane plow his field in circles? - He bought a circus-horse. - Why do the cows wear helmets on the pastures in Slane? - Every day the mayor drives them there on his motorcycle. - Why do the pigs in Slane have knots at the ends of their tails? - So that they cannot squeeze between the fence-boards... - Why do they tie the pigs together in bunches in Slane? - To make sure the hawk won't steal them. - Why are there no fences in Slane? - A psychic told the mayor that he'll die like a dog under a fence. - Why is it that you can't take the train to Slane? - A doctor prescribed iron supplements for the locals and they took apart the tracks. - Why is a bus to Slane wider than it is long? - Everyone wants to sit by the driver. - Where is Slane? - Three hat's throws from Tumberbridge. - Why are there no houses in Tumberbridge taller than two stories? - From the third you could see Slane. - Why do people wear white boots in winter in Slane? - Not to leave footprints in the snow... - Why was everyone in Slane dressed elegantly last time? - At night there was a storm with lightning, and they thought a photographer would come. - When the mayor of Slane drives his Ford to Vernon, why does it take only one hour there but three back? - His Ford can only go 15 km/h in reverse gear. - Why are there no street lamps in Slane? - The mayor's daughter is learning to drive. - Why is there a hole in the woods near Slane, about a metre and a half deep? - The mayor's daughter needed a passport photo. - And why are there 9 more holes like that nearby? - While she was at it, she thought she would get ten photos. - Why do the people in Slane use a whetstone on their TVs? - To make the picture sharper. - Why won't there be a BBS in Slane for a long time? - No one wants to pay... Original jokes: Monika Krukowska, Tomasz Piekarski, Lech Pietrkiewicz, Robert Rogowski, Jan Stozek, Pawel Wojtczak, Pawel Zienowicz SP5UHE, Piotr SP5SMP, Krzystof SP5OXF, Krzysztof SP5MXH, Ryszard Korwin-Mikke, Jerzy Tarasiuk, Marek "Gad" Pluciak, Rev. Krzysztof Gonet, Krzysztof Witaszewski and others... Translated by: Alexander Pruss Original Polish text prepared by firstname.lastname@example.org = email@example.com = firstname.lastname@example.org.
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