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Now that fall is here and will soon be followed by winter, I thought that
the inclement weather policy penned by a friend of mine, might be
appropriate.  This was based very loosely on the real inclement weather
policy at my office.  (The names have been changed to protect the
innocent)

                            XYZ COMPANY INC.

February 21, 1995

TO:      RTP Staff

SUBJECT: RTP's Inclement Weather Policy

     Since we have many new staff members who have joined us due to
the large number of casualties incurred during the last few months, I
thought it best if I would restate RTP's Inclement Weather Policy.

     Basically, the policy is: 1) The building is always open.
2) You are coming to work.  There is no way you are getting a day off
with pay.  3) In the event hell does freeze over you can listen to
any of the following radio or television stations:

        620 AM          - WDNC        TV5 - WRAL
        680 AM/TV28     - WPTF        TV11 - WTVD

    In fact you can listen to any radio station or watch any
television station you please.  What you will find out is that hell
is closed, but you are still coming to work.

    Once again we ask you to use your best judgement in
determining your method of travel.  We suggest ice skates, or
perhaps a dogsled (those huskies are very sure-footed).  Keep in
mind you have the following options:

     1.  Come to work
     2.  Come to work
     3.  Come to work

Please feel free to whine about the fact that IBM, GLAXO,
Northern Telecom etc. are closed.  We don't care.  If you have any
other questions regarding this policy, we suggest that you find
employement elsewhere.

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