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AP:	BILL TAKES ON ORAL & JIM
	
	Bill Gates, Incorporated announced that the Corporation has
	purchased a controlling interest in the Church of Scientology,
	effective today. The amount of the transaction was not
	disclosed.

	A corporate spokesman reading from a prepared text called
	"premature" reports that the next version of the company's
	mainstay product, referred to as "Windows_2001" in the trade
	press, will incorporate an E-meter pop-up box.

	The spokesman did vehemently deny that BGI had really intended
	to purchase the Roman Catholic Church, but had drafted the
	contract with Microsoft Word on a Pentium, thus causing the
	error.

	"We got what we wanted. We see a great potential in the
	Church's auditing techniques, and plan to use them to
	investigate methods of producing more uniform structured
	thoughts, err, code."

	BGI is privately held.
	RCC stock closed down 1/8, in light trading.

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