AP: BILL TAKES ON ORAL & JIM Bill Gates, Incorporated announced that the Corporation has purchased a controlling interest in the Church of Scientology, effective today. The amount of the transaction was not disclosed. A corporate spokesman reading from a prepared text called "premature" reports that the next version of the company's mainstay product, referred to as "Windows_2001" in the trade press, will incorporate an E-meter pop-up box. The spokesman did vehemently deny that BGI had really intended to purchase the Roman Catholic Church, but had drafted the contract with Microsoft Word on a Pentium, thus causing the error. "We got what we wanted. We see a great potential in the Church's auditing techniques, and plan to use them to investigate methods of producing more uniform structured thoughts, err, code." BGI is privately held. RCC stock closed down 1/8, in light trading.
(From the "Rest" of RHF)