The Top Ten Recommendations for the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms surrounding Koresh's commune in Waco, Texas:
10. Dig a deep pit, fill with water, stock with gators; ask Koresh to "come on out and show us that walking thing again"
9. Disguise a smart missile as a CNN mini-cam & send 'er in
8. Have ATF agents begin assembling wooden crosses in view of compound
7. "Hey! Your pals Barrabus and Judas have stopped in! Party time!"
6. Have the US Air Force drop a relief shipment of Jack-in-the-Box catering to them
5. Woo children out for big hug by dressing ATF agents in "Barney the Dinosaur" costumes
4. Threaten to disconnect CNN uplink, interrupting flow of live interviews to satellite network
3. Tell Koresh he has a conference call with Oral Roberts and God waiting on the outside line
2. Provide Koresh with a love offering of a GM pickup "souped up" just for him by Dateline NBC
1. Offer Muslim Extremists refund of van-rental security deposit for providing their own special skills
by Scott Chilcote & Esther Lumsdon