For christmas, I got a book entitled "Court In The Act: Humorous Moments From Australian Courts"  by Beverley Tait, a former court reporter; it is full of wonderful gems like this:
Counsel: Your Honour, he does not mean his wife is about to become pregnant; he means that she is about to deliver.
His Honour: He is excused. In either event, he should be present.
 The Federation Press; Sydney, Australia; ISBN 1 86287 100 0