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Well being the season of Christmas and royal unrest, I felt that this
would be a fine opportunity for me to exercise my lyrical and whimsical
skills. Well, I probably failed miserably, but I still had fun doing it.
   Critiques, flames and general flattery can be sent to franklin@ug.cs.dal.ca

(Should be sung loudly to the tune of "Oh Christmas Tree")


Oh Lady Di, Oh Lady Di,
I see thy future failing.
Oh Lady Di, Oh Lady Di,
Thy social image's ailing.

You married when, you were a child,
You should be cool, yet you are wild;

Oh Lady Di, Oh Lady diiiiii
Your bills, Chuck still is paying.


Oh Prince Chuckie, Oh Prince Chuckie.
Fret not, your ears aren't homely.
Oh Prince Chuckie, Oh Prince Chuckie.
I doubt that you'll be lonely.

With women all around thee mate,
While you were married, you liked to date.

Oh Prince Chuckie, Oh Prince Chuckieeeee...
You won't be king, I'm sorry.


Oh Dutchess Ferg, oh Dutchess Ferg,
I never really liked you.
Oh Dutchess Ferg, oh large ice-berg,
You're now ex-dutchess, boo-hoo.

You take your top off with your kids,
You date more men than Madonna did.

Oh Sara Ferg, oh Sara Ferg,
Whatever will you now do?


Oh Prince Andy, Oh Prince Andy,
You should have waited longer...
Oh Prince Andy, Oh Prince Andy,
Of porn stars you were fonder.

Life could be worse, from this point look,
At least your wife didn't write a book.

Oh Prince Andy, Oh Prince Andeeeee...
Although she's bigger, is she stronger?


Oh Princess Anne, Oh Princess Anne,
Why was your wedding tiny?
Oh Princess Anne, Oh Princess Anne,
You've got your man now finally! (?)

One's not enough, you need some more,
Perhaps you found your first a bore.

Oh Princess Anne, Oh Princess Anne,
The tabloids do not like thee.


Oh Queen Eliz, Oh Queen Eliz,
Your life must be quite shoddy.
Oh Queen Eliz, Oh Queen Eliz,
Your kids are most ungodly.

Your reign supreme, could be at end,
The British are not your best friend.

Oh Queen Eliz, Oh Queen Eliz....
How like thee taxes?      

---
Steve Franklin

(This is meant purely in jest. To those who feel it is offensive by nature, 
then forgive me. The last thing I want is a group of pro-monarchial
extremists toilet-papering my house in an outcry of anger. In fact, if it 
makes you feel any better...
"This post is based purely on fiction. Any character that appears to bear
semblance to an individual in real life is purely coincedental and should
be treated as such."

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