So many USENET postings contain the line ":-) for the humor-impaired". Only trouble is, it doesn't work against those people anyway, and generates some kind of response like, "I find your posting offensive to all people who, through no fault of their own, lack a sense of humor, and demand that you retract it immediately." Painstaking research has uncovered the e-mail sent by these people to the authors of jokes posted over the years to rec.humor.funny. Here are a few extracts: In response to a dead baby joke: "The incidence of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome to you, since you obviously wouldn't know anything about it) in this country has reached epidemic proportions. Your joke served only to heighten the anguish of mothers everywhere and was in extremely poor taste, you insensitive jerk." In response to a light-bulb joke: "You are clearly unaware of the monstrous injusticies committed by the manufacturers of light bulbs who deliberately build short life-times into their products in order to reap quick profits at the expense of non-renewable resources. This sort of joke just serves to perpetuate the image of light bulbs as short-lived, thus playing right into their hands. I hope you're happy." In response to a joke comparing lawyers to roadkills: "My Dad is a lawyer and he is going to SUE you for defamation, how do you like that, bwahahahahahahahahaha." In response to a dumb blonde joke: "Oh, great. Your joke just set back women's rights in this country about ten years. You are obviously a sexually-frustrated nerd with no real concept of the true nature of feminism. The women's movement is going to roll right over you and your kind." In response to a joke about a dead guy meeting St. Peter: "You must not know that there are many religious groups in the world who don't share your notion of Heaven. Your article automatically assumed the Christian afterlife without giving any acknowledgement to equally valid beliefs such as reincarnation, Nirvana, Valhalla, etc. Please avoid causing similar offense in future postings." In response to an April Fool's joke claiming that a UFO had landed on the White House Lawn and delivered Elvis' dead body: "I turned on CNN and watched for SIX HOURS without hearing anything about this. Obviously there has been a massive cover-up. Please post more details." In response to this joke: "You lampooned many worthwhile groups in your joke without paying any attention to keeping a fair balance between them. It is obvious that your only wish is to cause trouble. I, for one, did not find anything in it at all amusing."
(From the "Rest" of RHF)