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Bush Upchuck Digest

funny-request@looking.on.ca
(various, digest)

Here it is, a digest of the lesser jokes about George Bush's gift
to the Japanese.

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Subject: Bush's illness, original, topical
From: nolan@helios.unl.edu (Michael Nolan)

Original joke by Michael Nolan, nolan@tssi.com

Bush Throws Up During Japanese Dinner Party

Phlegm at 11!
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Subject:      Bush's Illness
From: SCOTH%WMVM1.CC.WM.EDU@vtvm2.cc.vt.edu (Scott Hammer)

President Bush's doctor was concerned when Bush collapsed at the Japanese
State Dinner, but got even more worried later.  It seems that once they
got Bush back to his suite, he started speaking in complete sentences!

(The idea for this was stolen from Dave Barry's year-end column in the
Washington Post a couple weeks ago).

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Subject: Bush illness
From: dbrooks@osf.org

Original.

At a dinner in Japan yesterday, President Bush threw up and passed
out.  This was caused by a mixup in the kitchens; that plate had been
intended for Lee Iacocca.

David Brooks
Open Software Foundation
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Subject: Bush gets Japanese flu...
From: trebor@foretune.co.jp (Robert J Woodhead)

When asked why President Bush collapsed (allegedly with gastroenteritis)
at a state dinner in Tokyo, a spokesman for the Japanese foreign
ministry is alleged to have said:

	"We urged him not to eat that California rice!"

The other rumor is that Bush was accidentally stabbed by a Bulgarian
Chopstick...
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Subject: You can't win
Organization: DSG, Stanford University, CA 94305, USA
From: gscott@leland.stanford.edu

Last night ABC News aired a special report on President Bush's visit to
Japan.  The commentators were explaining that a major component of the
trade deficit was automobiles; imports from Japan are flooding the US market.
They then broke for a commercial - for Mitsubishi cars.


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Subject: Bush/Quayle
From: ach@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Joseph Poirier)


With Bush being sick, I suppose we can all now say:

Dan Quayle:  A heartburn away from the Presidency.



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Subject: Bush's diplomacy
From: pacdata!jimh@ucsd.edu (Jim Harkins)

George Bush didn't really have the flu the other day.  A GM executive had
promised a campaign contribution if he would puke on the Japanese Prime
Minister's carpet.

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Subject: Barfing Bush
From: spl@alex.ucsd.edu (Steve Lamont)

An amusing remark by Simon Hoggart (sp?) this morning (Saturday, Jan
11) on NPR's Weekend Edition this morning.  It gave me a small chuckle.

Regarding George Bush's fainting spell at the State Dinner in Japan:

	In Japan, you usually only faint after you get the bill.

						spl (the p stands for
						pass the bucket, Emperor)
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Subject: What Bush heard last?
From: prb@access.digex.com (Pat)


What was the Last thing Miizawa said to Bush?

Try the Fugu, IT's delicious.


[Authors note.  For those who are not aware, fugu is a highly toxic
blowfish the japanese eat as a delicacy.  1-2 people every year
fugu out of this planet.  I made this up while discussing japanese
culture with a friend of mine]
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Subject: Bush's collapse
From: u1238@jsp.umontreal.ca (Duperval Laurent)

[ So it might be known by the time you get it.  Sue me! :-) ]
Credit Doug Camilli of the Montreal Gazette:
 
What were Bush's first words after his collapse?
"I _told you_, I don't like broccoli."

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Subject: New White House Dress COde
From: prb@access.digex.com (Pat)



What's the Dress Code at White House functions?

Old Clothes.


[  I think this was made in Tony Kornheisers column in the Washington Post.
It's a paraphrasing, of some remarks he made about Bush being made an
Honorary member of every party frat in america]
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Subject: George Bush' slogan for re-election
From: TLIU@binah.cc.brandeis.edu

(This is an original joke)

George Bush in 1992:

Ask not what your president can do for you, 
ask what you can do for your president!
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From: matchmaker@houston.relay.ucm.org

This letter was forwarded Mon 9:39pm, 13 Jan 1992 CST by JON@BODEDO:

Bush took the leaders of the big-three automakers to Japan to help revive
the U.S. economy.

For a while the economy was doing very very well.

Then he brought them back.

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Subject: Sick humor #2
From: RICH@suhep.phy.syr.edu (Richard S. Holmes)

Q. What's the difference between the vice squad and George Bush in Japan?

A. Well, the vice squad closes bookies...
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Subject: Sick humor #1
From: RICH@suhep.phy.syr.edu (Richard S. Holmes)

Q. What did George Bush discuss with the Japanese during lunch?

A. The same thing he brought up at dinner.
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Subject: Bush's Queasy Stomach
From: scotbri@rosevax.rosemount.com (Scott Brigham)


An original by yours truly (as far as I know):

While the Japanese are over here eating our lunch,
Bush is over there blowing his!

(From the "Rest" of RHF)


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