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Complete Guide to the Parallel Interface

(original, sexual, computer, maybe, strange)

                     Complete Guide to
                    PARALLEL INTERFACE
                          for the
                     Computer Literate

Select your desired CPU and initiate your standard word
processing program to determine compatibility of this CPU
for interface.

(Helpful Hint: once CPU compatibility is established, you
may wish to determine a password which will initiate
immediate interface session signon. This avoids needless
future repetition of the word processing program).

Locate your CPU in a warm, comfortable location away from
drafts, dust, and unnecessary acoustical interference.
Place your CPU on a worksurface with sufficient support,
preferably at an ergonomically proper work height.  It is
recommended that any surface on which you place your CPU be
covered with a static mat, or, if you choose to locate your
CPU on the floor, that the surface be protected by a carpet
with a static rating of 1.5KV or less.

Remove any software or peripherals from your mainframe and
that of your CPU (or at least remove software from the
lowercase mainframe) to expose the input/output devices. You
should fully monitor your CPU, preview its hardware and
locate input ports.

Decide upon the position in which your program session will
be executed: horizontal format or vertical format.  (Note:
for horizontal format, determine which CPU will be in the
override position). At this time, it is helpful for both
CPUs to wrap tabs around the other to better accommodate

Center the output CPU mouse between the tabs surrounding the
parallel port of the input CPU and merge.

Repeatedly toggle your mouse between back-up and return.  It
is advised to monitor your CPU display for any signs of
glare.  It is also advised to maintain your baud rate at a
reasonable level to prevent breaks.  If all hardware systems
continue to function properly, at some point you will
achieve macro, at which time input of data will occur.

Once data transmission is complete, remove your mouse and
log out of the interface session.  You will now begin the
recover phase.

Remember: There's no on-line HELP function, so easy DOS it!


ABORT: deletion of copies created through parallel interface

BACK-UP: reverse line feed, removal of the mouse from the
parallel port (also called REMOVE, BACKSPACE)

BAUD RATE: speed at which parallel interface occurs

BITS: discrete particles of data  (HINT: It is advised to
keep a static wipe handy to mop up any bits which might
escape onto the worksurface during parallel interface).

BREAK: an emergency interface session termination caused by
failure of hardware components

COMMANDS: word processing program blocks used by the CPU in

CONTROL: whichever CPU is initiating signon session (See

COPY: a duplicate CPU which can be created through interface

CPU: Copulation Participatory Unit

CURSOR: a word processing program executed by incompatible
CPUs; also commonly heard if BREAK or ESCAPE sequence is
initiated during interface

DATA: transmissible particles of copy text

DISPLAY: portion of the uppercase mainframe where the
monitors and the word processing output device are stored

DOUBLE DENSITY: multiple interlinks during a single signon

DOUBLE SIDE: an attribute of interface in which more than
one position is used during interlink

DUST COVER: another term for software for your mainframe


FLOPPY DISKS: a common attribute of input CPUs, not
advisable to be commented upon in the word processing

FOOTERS: a variation of interface in which certain lowercase
mainframe tabs are deployed (refer to ADVANCED FEATURES)

GLARE: a possible attribute of the input CPU display if
interlink is not acceptable

HARD DISK: a anomalous condition of the floppy disks;
suggest scheduling a maintenance/repair call

HARD DRIVE: an emergency line feed procedure which can be
initiated if the input CPU does not readily accept
connection with the ouput CPU mouse - NOT RECOMMENDED

HEADERS: a variation of interface in which the output CPU
inserts its mouse into the input CPUs word processing output

HIGH DENSITY: also known as "highly dense", a common
attribute of the computer literate, as shown by the need for
the creation of this manual

INPUT: transmission of data from output CPU to input CPU

INPUT CPU: the CPU (copulation participatory unit) which
receives data from the output CPU

INTERLINK: the act of connecting compatible CPUs through
parallel interface

LINE FEED: the action of insertion of the output CPU mouse
into the input CPU parallel port

LOG OUT: removal of the mouse upon termination of the
interface session

LOWERCASE: area of the mainframe where the mouse and mouse
pad are stored on the output CPU, and the parallel port is
stored on the input CPU

MACRO: the phase of interlink during which CPUs achieve
maximum sensory overload; also when output CPUs input data
to input CPUs

MAINFRAME: the hardware system of the CPU

MERGE: initiating interlink

MODEM: a slang term, short for "more of them", signifying
the desire of a CPU to initiate a signon interface session
or to create a double density interface session

MONOCHROME MONITOR: attribute given to analyzing your
mainframe or hardware in poor ambient lighting conditions,
leading to being only able to see the mainframe in black and

MOUSE: a slang term for the output CPU's data transmission

MOUSE PAD: area of the mainframe on the output CPU where the
mouse is stored

ON: as in "Turn On", the act of preparing the input CPU for
interlink and data transmission

OUTPUT CPU: the CPU which transmits data to the input CPU

OVERRIDE: descriptive term for whichever CPU assumes the
superior position during parallel interface

PARALLEL INTERFACE: interlink between consenting CPUs

PARALLEL PORT: area of the mainframe on the input CPU into
which the mouse of the output CPU is inserted during
parallel interface

PAUSE: a short interval between interlinks in double density
signon sessions

PC Jrs: Slang term for CPU copies which can be created
through parallel interface if preventive precautions are not
taken (See Surge Protector)

PC PROGRAM: a Personal Copulation Program developed by a
CPU, usually involving a complex series of interface program
variations (NOTE: requires EXTENDED MEMORY)

PERIPHERALS: like software, additional coverings of the
mainframe, commonly connected to auditory input devices or
other tabs.  (Examples: earrings, watch, necklace, etc.)

RAM: an emergency line feed procedure which can be initiated
if the input CPU does not readily accept interlink with the

RECOVER: interval between initiation of new interface signon

RETURN: replacement of the output CPU mouse into the input
CPU parallel port after BACK-UP is executed (See BACK-UP)

ROM: (acronym for "Really Orgasmic, Man!"), describes the
sensory condition during the MACRO phase of parallel
interface during which the output CPU transmits data to the
input CPU

RULER: the CPU initiating interface signon

SELECT: the process of determining the compatibility of CPU
operating programs

SERIAL INTERFACE: interface between more than two CPUs
during a signon session (SEE ADVANCED FEATURES)

SHIFT: attribute of double sided interlink when the position
of one of the CPUs is edited

SIGNON SESSION: the interval during which parallel interface

SINGLE DENSITY: only one interlink during a signon session

SINGLE SIDE: attribute of interface in which only one
interlink position is employed

SOFTWARE: protective covering for your mainframe (see also

SURGE: flow of current into the mouse of the output CPU,
preparing the mouse for insertion into the input CPUs
parallel port

SURGE PROTECTOR: a protective covering for the output CPU's
mouse.  Note: especially desirable to prevent viruses from
infiltrating CPU operating systems and for cancelling the
Copy program.  (See PC Jrs).

TABS: protrusions of the mainframe allowing mobility and/or
sensory input, excluding the floppy disks and mouse.
(Examples: arms, legs, hands, feet)

TERMINATE: ending an interface session

UPPERCASE: portion of the mainframe where the display is
located, also where input CPU floppy disks are stored

VIRUS: a defective program transmitted through parallel

WORD PROCESSING: a program initiated by either CPU to
determine compatibility, also used to issue commands during

WRAP: placing mainframe tabs around your CPU to better
effect interlink

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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