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This could go in true stories: An 85 year old who had never been to a doctor before, as he proudly announced, came to the office for a check-up. He thought it was about time. The doctor (that's me) said, "What did you do to live so long and stay so healthy?" He said, "Well, whatever it was, it wasn't listening to the likes of you!!"

Another one: During my residency, we offered a free Pap smear clinic. Well, a nurse brought in her elderly mother to have a Pap smear because she had never had one, or an internal exam for that matter. She had her kids at home without benefit of medical attention. She was maybe 80. (The daughter was 60 or so.) Well, the daughter held her hand and talked her through the ordeal of her first pelvic exam just as a mother might with a teenage girl. After it was over, I said something to lighten things up like, "Now that wasn't so bad was it?" The old lady said, "No, it wasn't, but I have one question to ask you." I said, "Shoot." She said, "Does your mother know what you do for a living?"

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