These days one cannot open a newspaper without reading of the danger of flouro-carbons: I used to think it was because the articles were written by illiterate weasels who couldn't spell "fluorine" but there really can't be that many illiterate people around, so I decided to find out exactly what flouro-carbons were. Well, they turn out to be a mixture of flour and carbon, and are chiefly found in burnt toast. (The little black bits in wholemeal bread aren't actually charcoal or rabbit droppings, they just taste like it.) This of course explains the fuss about King Alfred burning the cakes. I mean, nobody expects a king to be a champion chef: come to think of it, nobody expects anyone called Baker to be much of a politician. It was the fact that he was releasing these dangerous flouro-carbons that caused all the fuss. Kings are supposed to be green (William Rufus was red, and look what happened to him). Anyway we tried an experiment. On this diagram the red car is runs entirely on burnt toast; the blue car runs on an ecologically unsound mixture of hair spray, whale meat and leaded fuel; and the green car is pedalled by the little man inside. Well that was fun wasn't it. Sometime we'll do another experiment. Anyway folks. Protect the environment. Burnt toast is a killer. Eat only Globsquirtle (TM) green fireproofed toast!
(From the "Rest" of RHF)