PHOENIX, AZ--Scientists have discovered a tendency for lab rats to commit suicide after being exposed to the Judas Priest album "Sin After Sin." During the tests rats were provided with two piles of cheese. One pile was normal cheese. The other pile was laced with rat poison and had a sign above clearly indicating the consequences of eating from that pile. After just three playings of the album at a volume of 130 decibels, a stunning 50% of the rats had consumed a fatal dose of cheese from the rat poison pile. After 10 playings almost 90% of the rats were dead. By the time the album had been played 23 times all the rats in the experiment had committed suicide.
The test used 1013 rats and was funded by the plaintiffs in the Judas Priest suicide trial currently underway in Arizona. The results of this experiment were immediately rushed to the Parent's Music Resource Center headquarters in Washington, DC. The results will be presented to Congress by the PMRC on Friday in an effort to fund a $75 million followup to this experiment testing the effects on rats of the music of Ozzy Osbourne, Metallica, Black Sabbath, W.A.S.P., Blue Oyster Cult, Aerosmith, Megadeath, Motley Crue, 2 Live Crew, Ratt, Twisted Sister, Mentors, Woody Guthrie, and other controversial heavy metal bands.