(This is original.)
10. Hussein threatened to invade Houston if we didn't raise prices. 9. We're doing our part to reduce global warming. 8. Demand is increasing, or decreasing, something like that. 7. We were hoping you wouldn't notice. 6. The consultant we hired to do this list is gouging us. 5. We're going to raise enough money to bail out the S&L's. 4. It's not a price increase, it's a user fee. 3. We want to see if gas pumps can count that fast. 2. There was a big oil spill in Alask... no, that was last time.
1. There was a sudden surge in demand for fuel to fly Dan Rather all over the Middle East.
Greg Scott, with contributions from Mike Hildreth, Michael Yurko, and Robert Taft.