Anarchy You steal a doughnut. Ascii o Doughnut. * Squashed doughnut. _ Very squashed doughnut. Biff HEY! THIS DOHGNUT J0KS ARE PRITY FUNY I"VE NEVER HERD THEM BEFOUR,, I L1KE DOUGHUNTS BECOS THERE ALL SUGARRY. British Rail All doughnuts subject to delay and cancellation due to, etc. Buddhism God is a doughnut, and God is not a doughnut. Bureaucracy The State takes your doughnut away and then refuses to let you buy another doughnut because you already have one. Capitalism You buy a doughnut. Catholicism The priest blesses the doughnut and you mustn't chew it. Christianity I was hungry, and ye gave me a doughnut. Church of England You know, in a very real sense, God is a doughnut. Communism The State sells you a doughnut. Confuscianism Confuscius he say doughnut. Cricket Thanks to Mrs Emily Crunge of Lanarkshire for sending me these delicious cream doughnuts. I don't think there's been a >chomp< doughnut article quite like this since Flapjack posted one for the West Indies in 1823, and he >chew< went on to win the series by four wickets. He was left-handed, of course; I don't know if that made a difference. DHSS You can't have a doughnut, and even if you could, you'd have to give it all back straight away. David Owen When I was Foreign Secretary I would have dealt with, etc. Dictatorship Buy a doughnut, or else. Douglas Addams Doughnuts are actually an alien life form from a distant, etc. Edinburgh Festival You watch someone else steal a doughnut. Edwina Currie Doughnuts are infected with salmonella, tarantella, cinderella, valpolicella, winecella, rockefella, umbrella etc. Eunet.jokes What's brown, soft and sticky? ^L Give up? ^L A doughnut. European The State pays for a doughnut and the EEC pays you to eat it. Fantasy Just when you were about to starve you find a doughnut. Fascism The storm-troopers eat your doughnut and shoot you. Feminist Wimmin, doughnut, repressed, sisters, male dominated, etc. Folk song `Doughnut forsake me, oh my darling!' Football 'Ere we dough, 'ere we dough, 'ere we dough, 'ere we dough, etc. Fundamentalism Doughnuts are an abomination unto the Lord, etc. Glyndebourne Festival You watch someone else steal a doughnut and then listen to her sing a song about it. Hack R.I.P. ken 225 Au killed by a doughnut. Health Farm You don't eat a doughnut. Islam The religious police beat you up and chop your hands off. Kinnock Doughnuts are down 50% in real terms over the doughnuts produced during the last Labour government, etc. Labour Party Socialism The State sells you a doughnut, only there aren't any, and it's all the Tories' fault. Liberals Doughnuts are 50% the same in real terms as the doughnuts produced during the last Labour government, etc. Local Council You can have a doughnut, if you pay the right people. London Transport Doughnut alight while bus is in motion. Loony You are a doughnut. I am a doughnut. I am not a doughnut. Marxism The State takes your doughnut away and gives it to someone who hasn't got a doughnut. Mis-spelt U bi er donut an u eet itt. NHS There's a two-year waiting list for doughnuts, but of course if you were to buy one privately you could have it tomorrow. Notting Hill Carnival You watch someone else steal a doughnut and then the police come along and nick him. Oligarchy You can have a doughnut, if you know the right people. Pentecostalism You feed a crowd of 5000 people on one doughnut. Poetry You are/a doughnut./I am/a doughnut./I am/not/a doughnut. Reality Just when you were about to starve you didn't find a doughnut. Scottish Nationalist Ye ken aboot doughnuts? It's cos of they bastard English, that's why, an' fuck off the noo. Socialism The State gives you a doughnut. South African Dese is for whites only. You bleks get a dog biscuit. Soviet Communism The State sells you a doughnut, only there aren't any. Stalinism The State takes your doughnut away, eats it, and tells you that they gave it to someone who hadn't got a doughnut. Sunday Sport Killer Doughnuts on Spanking Sex Panties Rampage at North Pole Swimming Blug blug blug blug fluffle doughnublug blug. Tam Dalyell The `Belgrano' was steaming on a bearing 260 degrees, etc. Thascism You sell a doughnut and buy a bigger doughnut. Thatcher Doughnuts are up 50% in real terms over the doughnuts produced during the last Labour government, etc. Trades Union socialism The State sells you a doughnut, and you go on strike. Unix Sticky bit not set. Waddingtons Doughnut! The new, amazing, fantastic game for all the family! Welsh Nationalist Onid oes chwarae maesteg doughnut llanfairpwll defaid. Wine Weekly A fine, well-rounded doughnut with an amusing jam after-taste Zen What is the sound of one doughnut clapping? Zimbabwean Dese is for blacks only. You whites get beat up.
(From the "Rest" of RHF)
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