God decided He was finally fed up with the human race and decided to end it for good. He called up a reporter at the New York Times to tell him the news: The world would end the day after tomorrow.
The reporter tried to talk God out of it, but God was firm and wouldn't be swayed. The reporter then asked if he had an exclusive. God said that He was going to call three other newspapers.
Headlines the next day:
The New York Times: "God says world to end tomorrow; story and analysis on page B11."
The Wall Street Journal: "God says world to end tomorrow; market to close early"
USA Today: "IT'S OVER!"
The Washington Post: "God says world to end tomorrow; women and minorities hardest hit."