Best of Jokes Current Jokes RHF Home Search Sponsor RHF?
Fun Stuff & Jokes
Previous | RHF Joke Archives | Next

Life immitates art

mark@megatek.UUCP (mark thompson)
(true, smirk)

True fact (humor in the financial press):

A very large government contractor (VLGC) is involved in a proxy fight with
a questionable outside investor (QOI). The QOI published the following in
a large number of big city newspapers (BCNs). It quotes statements from the
VLGC's annual statement and the QOI's translation... quote

	[VLGC] says				  Our translation
We characterize 1989 as a transitional 
year which prepared us for strong		1989 was a bad year
financial performance in 1990 and beyond.

[VLGC]'s sales increased slightly when 		Sales are down $541 million.
adjusted for completion of the <plane 1>	But they're up if you count
program.					business we don't have anymore.

A third initiative centers on our efforts
to attract commercial aircraft sub-
contracting work to our facilities in		We still haven't found a
Georgia. We are continuing discussions		replacement business for the
with potential customers and expect to		<plane 1>.
build this base significantly.

The write-offs are expected to cover excess	The write-offs will be even
costs to completion after estimated pricing	higher unless the govern-
adjustments and contract changes.		ment agrees to rewrite the
						contracts.

Absent the write-off on the <plane 2> air-	Profit margins are down. But
craft modification program margins also		they are up if you don't
improved for the technology services group.	count the business we lost
						money on.
The stock buy-back program to recover from
the market share equivalent to those issued	We stopped buying back shares
to the ESOP was suspended in 1989, pending	because we were running out
clarification of the timing of cash require-	of money.
ments related to the 1989 write-offs.

There are hundreds of ongoing programs		Our funded backlog keeps going
throughout [VLGC] that form a solid business 	down:
base. Many of the programs extend well into 	
the future. Ordinarily, because of the method	1986	$9.7 billion
of funding of government programs, they do	1987	$8.4 billion
not appear in the backlog beyond the current	1988	$7.4 billion
year.						1989	$7.1 billion

Early this year, we agreed with the customer
that work on future phases of this program	We got fired.
will be performed by another supplier.

Regarding the <plane 3>, several factors have
occasioned design and schedule difficulties
in developing the aircraft. Significant among
these factors was an expectation of a high	We bid on the wrong plane.
degree of commonality with the <plane 4>
which turned out not to be attainable due to 
other performance characteristics required by 
the Navy.

unquote.

(From the "Rest" of RHF)


Previous | RHF Joke Archives | Next

Best of Jokes | Current Jokes | RHF Home | Search