The following is a verbatim quote of the opening paragraphs of a (serious) article on the effect that Salman Rushdie's book "The Satanic Verses" is having on Britain's Muslim community. The article is by Jack O'Sullivan, and appeared in The Independent, a UK "quality" national newspaper, on 5 Jan 1990.
A joke going around Bradford concerns two Muslims chatting in a halal shop. The first says he has decided to take the Government's advice to integrate and be like the British. "Oh yes," replies his friend. "And how will you do that?"
"I'm going to take my secretary to Paris for a dirty weekend," the first man says.
"But you don't have a secretary," the friend points out.
"That doesn't matter," says the first. "I'll take my wife and say she's my secretary."
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