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The big leap

king@dciem.UUCP (Stephen King)
(offense=newfoundlanders, swearing, rot13, chuckle)

Picture if you will, a mountain high on top of the world with a sharp cliff that provides an excellent jump to your death. There are three men standing by this cliff and remarking at what a long way down it is.

Suddenly, a good fairy appears and says: "Good gentlemen I will give you one wish. As you jump off this cliff, call out your wish, and I will grant you your wish and safe passage to ground level."

So, the first man, who by the way was Italian, took a running start and jumped off the cliff. As he plumetted to almost certain human death, he called out,

"An IROC CAMARO with big fuzzy dice hanging in the window and a gorgeous girl to go along."

And just as the good fairy promised, he landed safely in between his new "car" and gorgeous blond girl, where he proceeded to run from one to the other, not knowing which one to kiss first.

The second man, being an East Indian by the name of Raj, saw what happened to the Italian Stallion and ran off the cliff happily screaming with his distinctive accent: "Riches and fame."

It was a short and simple request, but that was all the English he could handle while jumping off a cliff. Well, low and behold as he reaches the bottom safely he is swarmed by dozens of adoring fans, while a limousine full of money arrives to pick him up.

Well, the last fellow was a short, stout fellow from a faraway place in a most northern country called Canada. This fellow is commonly referred to as a NEWFIE. The Newfie was so impressed at how the other two gentlemen had prospered in life that he gave grave and careful thought to what he would say as he plumeted off the cliff at break neck speeds. So, he began to run, and just as he neared the edge of the cliff he tripped on a stone and fell off the cliff, yelling with disgust:


And thus, he safely landed.

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