(Original idea of Virginia-West Virginia border was heard on Saturday Night Live. The rest on the flag is original.) Newsbrief - Since the governor of Virginia took down the border signs, thousands crossed over to West Virginia to shop for Christmas. Talks of uniting the two states are under way. President Bush stands opposed to the idea because "The American flag would have to be altered to cut down one star". Representatives of the Association of Flag Makers see it as an opportunity for increase in sales since all flags have to be replaced, and existing flags will soon become a collector's item. Environmentalists are worried about the long term effects of burying the flags. "We can't burn them like we used to," sighed the head of the EPA, "Now they have to sit in storage houses and rot away. It's a serious health hazard for people living near these storage sites." "This change means lots of extra work for us", complained police chiefs around the nation, "We're already short of resources, we just don't have the manpower to make sure that the old flags are properly disposed according to the law." Facing these concerns, a bipartisan bill is being debated in Congress to allow people to freely dispose the old flag as they see fit. Bush says that he will veto the bill should it pass through both houses, and will replace it will an executive order that "does the same", but may be withdrawn at any time. "I have not weakened my stand on protecting the American flag," he said, "old or new, it deserves equal constitutional protection." He is also considering the possible incorporation of Puerto Rico into statehood. "This way," he said, "we will remain a 50 united states."
(From the "Rest" of RHF)