(This is an irish joke with a twist. Told to me by my father-in-law.)
There is this American tourist on a trip around Ireland.
When the tour arrives at Belfast he decides to go for a stroll with the aim of taking in this new culture. After he's been walking for a while someone rushes up behind him and sticks a gun in his back.
The person says to the tourist, "What are you, Catholic or Protestant?"
The American thinks to himself "Great--if I say I'm Catholic, this guy is sure to be Protestant. If I say I'm Protestant, he's sure to be Catholic. Either way I'm dead." Then he has a brain wave and says to the Guy, "actually I'm Jewish." This, he thinks to himself, will surely keep him safe.
The guy behind him then replies "Gee, I must be the luckiest Arab in Ireland."