The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said: "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will."
"That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then added, "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change..."
Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn't dance a single step!"
"So?" asked the duck's former owner, "Did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"
"No! no! start with the first day!" everyone yells out in chorus.
"And on the third day, " the private continues, "she asked me to stop so she could go to the bathroom..."
And right below it in nice rounded letters; "But if you're not, my phone number is 341-3451"
"Are you crazy?" yelled the customer, "You have your hand on my steak!"
"What?" answers the waiter, "You want it to fall on the floor again?"
"It's o.k.," he replied, "It's written in the Bible."
So after a wild night of you-know-what the hat check girl asked to see where in the Bible it says it's okay.
The priest picks up the Bible off the dresser opens to the first page where someone wrote in pencil--"The hat check girl puts out!"
Of course, most of the church goers generously gave to the cross wearer and the other was overlooked. Finally the Pastor approached the Jew and suggested that if he take off the star of David maybe he'd get some more hand outs.
"Get this guy," laughs the pan handler and turns to his cross wearing pal, "Trying to teach us how to do business!"
"With pleasure!" says the man.
So he bought some wine and a bunch of flowers and in the evening he went to see her. When the door opens there she was, stark naked.
"What's this?" the man was shocked.
She smiles and says, "I wore my birthday dress for you."
"That's great," he says somewhat embarrassed, "But couldn't you have pressed it first?"
"Oh I don't care." said the waiter with a smile, "We don't even have an air conditioner"
"You could have told me that before I undressed!" she scolded him.
"Hey! Only swimming is prohibited, undressing isn't," he replied.
And so everyday, the sailor brought some food and would get some loving in return. This went on for several weeks until the captain saw the sailor sneaking around with a tray of food and the whole affair was uncovered. The captain felt obliged to apologize to the girl:
"I'm very sorry about all that has happened to you, but you have to admit the sailor is smart. Do you know you're on the Staten Island Ferry?"
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