From the Harvard Lampoon 1988 Program Parody, distributed at The Game between Harvard and Yale _Today's Game: Harvard vs. Yale_ ... Harvard: ... Quarterback: Sophomore Dave Strewzinski...likes to pass. And pass he does, with a record 86 attempts (three completions) in 87 plays.... Though Strewzinksi has so far failed to score any points for the Crimson, his jackrabbit speed has made him the least sacked quarterback in the Ivy league. Wide Receiver: The other directional signal in Harvard's offensive machine is senior Phil Yip, who is very fast. Yip is so fast that he has set a record for being fast. Expect to see Yip elude all pursuers and make it into the endzone five or six times, his average for a game. Yip, nicknamed "fumblefingers" and "you asshole" by his teammates, hopes to carry the ball with him at least one of those times. ... Yale: ... Defense: On the defensive side, Yale boasts the stingiest line in the Ivies. Primarily responsible are seniors Izzy "Shylock" Bloomberg and Myron Finklestein, the tightest ends in recent Eli history. Also contributing to the powerful defense is junior tackle Angus MacWhirter, a Scotsman who rounds out the offensive ethnic joke. Look for these three to shut down the opening coin toss. ------------- End of excerpt from Harvard Lampoon ------------------ Subscriptions $15/year to The Harvard Lampoon, 44 Bow Street, Cambridge, Mass. 02138 Respectfully submitted, -- David Chesler (firstname.lastname@example.org, mirror!david)
(From the "Rest" of RHF)
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