Well, there's a chill in the air, a frost on the ground, and a large steaming pile of bullshit on the television. Yes, that's right, it's election time. Voting in CA should be an absolute blast this year, as we have the pleasure of voting on approximately 12,000 new "propositions." For those of you who don't live in California, a "proposition" is a way for us California slimes to participate directly in the democratic process, by allowing anyone who has the brains of a lima bean to spend billions of dollars on television commercials. My personal favorite is the commercial sponsored by the insurance companies, which states that if we don't vote for their proposition, all of Western Civilization will collapse. (A prospect which concerns me greatly, as then it will certainly be much harder to buy beer, and they might even cancel Professional Wrestling) This year, most of our propositions are funded by "General Obligation Bonds," which really means "We have no idea how we're going to pay for this proposition." Lately, it's become an all-too-frequent occurrence to see the Proposition Funding Team searching through California streets in search of lost quarters and stuff. (I read an interview of Horace Gumley, chairman of the Proposition Funding Committee, who was in a particularly ecstatic mood because a Funding Team Member found a 5-dollar bill that morning.) Which brings me to my reason for writing this. Next year, I'd like to get my very own "proposition" on the ballot. This proposition would state that if you go to a nightclub and some dumb idiot puts out a cigarette in your beer, you can legally make that person drink it, without having the bouncers throw you out. Not that I've ever done anything like that. If you would like to vote on this proposition next year, write an extremely concerned letter to: Guverner Dukemajuhn The Big House in Sacramento Sacramento, CA Thank you -- Joe Talmadge Trust me. I know what I'm doing.
(From the "Rest" of RHF)