I heard these somewhere:
Minnie and Max had been married for 18 years. As Minnie grew older and less attractive, Max became disinterested and his libido started to wane dramatically. In desperation, Minnie hauled him before a marriage counselor. The marriage counselor listened patiently to Minnie's complaints and to Max's protestations. Max said he was being nagged unmercifully Minnie said that Max was causing her anguish.
Finally the marriage counselor issued a verdict. "Max," he said, "from now on, no matter how you feel, you must give Minnie her conjugal rights at least semi-annually."
Minnie was delighted and they left the counselor's chambers. On the way downstairs she nudged Max, "Tell me Max, how many times a week is semi-annually?"
Deep in the Tennessee hills, a farmer's mule kicked his mother-in-law to death. An enormous crowd of men turned out for the funeral. The minister, examining the crowd outside the church, commented to a farmer friend, "This old lady must have been mighty popular. Just look how many people left their work to come to her funeral."
"They're not here for the funeral," snickered the friend. "They're here to buy the mule."
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