A man goes into a restaurant and orders soup. When the waiter brings out the bowl he has his thumb stuck in the soup, but the customer decides to let it go.
"Would you like anything else?" the waiter inquires. "We have some very good beef stew today."
"Sounds good," says the customer. So the waiter goes off and comes back with a plate of stew, and his thumb is in the stew. The customer is getting angry now, but decides to hold his tongue.
"How about some hot apple pie?" asks the waiter.
"Fine," says the customer. The waiter returns with his thumb stuck in the pie. Now the customer is really getting furious.
"Coffee?" asks the waiter, and when the customer nods yes, he hurries off. He returns with his thumb stuck in the cup of coffee. By now the customer can no longer restrain himself.
"What the hell do you think you're doing? Every time you've come to the table you've had your thumb stuck in my food!"
"I've got an infection and my doctor told me to keep my thumb in a hot, moist place."
"Why don't you just stick it up your ass?"
"Where do you think I put it when I'm in the kitchen?"
On their first date, Joe took Rose to the carnival. When he asked her what she wanted to do first, Rose replied, "Get weighed."
So Joe took her to the man with the scale who guesses your weight. He looked at Rose and said, "One hundred and twenty pounds." Since Rose weighed in at one seventeen, she collected a prize.
Next they went on the roller coaster. When the ride was finished, Joe asked Rose what she wanted to do next. "Get weighed," she said. So they went back to the man with the scale, who of course guessed Rose's weight correctly. Leaving without a prize, they went for a ride on the merry-go-round. After they got off, Joe asked Rose what she wanted to do next. "I want to get weighed!" she said again.
Now Joe began to think this girl was quite strange, and decided to end the evening quickly. He left her at the door with a quick handshake.
Rose's roommate was waiting up for her return and asked how the evening went.
"Wousy!" Rose replied.
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