A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. (Sounds familiar, right?) So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and put his John Thomas in a vise. He secured it tightly and removed the handle. Then he picked up a hacksaw.
The man, terrified, screamed, "STOP! STOP! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO.. TO.. CUT IT OFF, ARE YOU???!?"
The husband said, with a gleam of revenge in his eye:
"Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire."