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Iraq Quickies Digest (Funny Guy)
(smirk, heard it, offense=almost everyone)

And so the Iraq jokes begin to roll in... These are jokes which are funny, but which didn't really warrant posting separately. I post such a digest whenever I have enough entries to warrant it. Particularly selective readers will probably not enjoy the digests, and may want to killfile RHF jokes with "Digest" in the title - ed.

= = = = = = =
>From: (Dan Loeb)
>Subject: French military victories

In view of current events at the UN, I looked up
"French military victories" at and
hit the "I'm feeling lucky" button.

Google's response was:

> Did you mean: french military defeats
> No standard web pages containing all your search terms were found.
> Your search - french military victories - did not match any documents.

[Note - it works! try it! - ed.]

= = = = = = =
>From: (Bruce McDiffett)
>Subject: Wow, and I thought "Freedom Fries" was bad

In a boldly patriotic move, House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Texas)
has mandated that members of Congress use only the newly renamed
"Freedom Tickler" when screwing the American public.

= = = = = = =
>From: (priya jobanputra)
>Subject: Say no to war

White House has set up hotlines for peoples to say Yes or No to war. Please
call one of the following numbers:

1-800-I-SUPPORT to support the war against Iraq.
1-900-I-OPPOSE if you oppose the war*.

*: There is a charge of $3.95 per minute fo this call. Minimum billing time
10 minutes.

= = = = = = =
>From: (Douglas A. Taylor)
>Organization: Office of Information Technology
>Subject: The Dixie Chicks

Some of you may have heard that at a recent concert, the Dixie
Chicks declared that they were "ashamed" of President Bush for the
upcoming Iraqi war. Apparently this angered some people in Texas,
Bush's home state. One headline I read said

Dix Chicks Ticks Hicks

This morning I read that some people are so angry, they're burning their
Dixie Chicks CDs. I think the headline should be obvious:

Hicks Nix Dix Chicks

What I think the Dixie Chicks ought to do is to make amends by
canceling a half-dozen concert tickets bought by the chief UN arms
inspector. No, it doesn't make a lot of sense, but we'd get to see

Dix Chicks Fix Hicks, Nix Six Blix Tix

= = = = = = =
>From: (Anton Smirnov)
>Subject: Bush at war

The Boston Herald, on tuesday (3/18) had on its front cover a picture
of President Bush superimposed over the American flag.

In large letters cover 1/3 of the page, the caption read:

"Bush's Moment of Truth"

Hmmm. You mean he's been lying to us up until now?

= = = = = = =
>From: anonymous
>Subject: "You know the world is going crazy when ...

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy,
the best golfer is a black guy,
The Swiss hold the America's Cup,
France is accusing the US of arrogance,
and Germany doesn't want to go to war."

-Author Unknown

= = = = = = =
>From: (Ryan Simmons)
>Subject: The French retaliate

In retaliation against the US House of Representatives changing the names
of French fries and French toast to Freedom fries and Freedom toast in
their cafeteria, the French government has announced that they will NOT
change the name of American cheese.

= = = = = = =
>From: (Flavio Rizzardi)
>Subject: The smoking gun

[author unknown, received by e-mail]

Q: "Mr. President, can you prove that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?"
A: "Yes. We kept the receipts."

= = = = = = =
>From: (K. Banerjee)
>Subject: European Values

On the NPR show, "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me!" I heard the
following account on Saturday March 15, 2003:

A group of British paratroopers were firing their weapons
for practice near the Kuwait/Iraq border. A group of
Iraqi soliders, fearing the war had started, crossed
the border and promptly surrendered to the paratroopers.

My immediate thought was, "Finally, French culture has
spread to the Middle East."

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