| RHF Joke Archives | 
What follows are the latest entries in the one-liner file. These are jokes which are funny, but which didn't really warrant posting separately. I post such a digest whenever I have enough entries to warrant it. Particularly selective readers will probably not enjoy the digests, and may want to killfile RHF jokes with "Digest" in the title - ed.
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>From: cro@ncacasi.org (C. R. Oldham)
>Subject And you thought Post manufactured cereal.
This morning I poured a bowl of Post Grape-Nuts and noted with great
interest some text on the right side short flap of the cereal box. It
said:
CONTENTS MAY HAVE OCCURRED DURING SHIPPING AND HANDLING
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>Organization: Crash Electronics, Inc.
>From: nospam@crashelex.com (Gordon S. Hlavenka)
>Subject Re: rec.humor.funny.reruns
> From the RHF archives as selected by Brad Templeton, Maddi Hausmann and
> Jim Griffith. This newsgroup posts former jokes from the newsgroup
> rec.humor.funny.
Does this mean they're not funny anymore?
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>From: Paul.Totman@GrantPrideco.com (Totman, Paul)
>Subject Part of the Solution
I always say that if you're not part of the solution, then you must be
part of the precipitate.
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>From: peter.king@brasenose.oxford.ac.uk (Peter J King)
>Subject Another lightbulb joke, I'm afraid
I heard this from a comic on BBC Radio 4 some months ago:
Q. How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Two--one to change the bulb and the other to hold my penis, I mean my
mother, I mean the *ladder*.
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>From: artc@execpc.com (Andrew Thomas-Cramer)
>Subject A little merge music
Hewlett Packard and Compaq have come to a little agreement ... what you
might call a ... compact Compaq compact.
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>From: TOMKANPA@aol.com
>Subject Memoirs......
Memoirs......
"Isn't this amazing?
Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs, Hillary got $8 million
for her memoirs.
"That is $20 million for two people who, for eight years, couldn't remember
anything!"
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>From: cdespinosa@mac.com (Chris Espinosa)
>Subject Condit's off the hook
FLASH: They just found Chandra Levy's ID...
Jenna Bush was using it.
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>From: eric@stochastic.com (Eric C. Hill)
>Organization: Adaptive Worldviews
>Subject Kittens
The introduction of Cc:, the cloned kitten gives a whole new meaning to,
"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty..."
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>From: jshayward@pobox.com (Jonathan Hayward http://JonathansCorner.com)
>Organization: Eolas Technologies
>Subject Planning ahead
Seen in an a.s.r signature:
If Paradise Lost had been written by a system administrator, it would
have had the sequel _Paradise Restored from Backup_.
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>From: jharkins@san.rr.com (Jim Harkins)
>Subject Let the holy wars begin
What's the difference between a priest and a zit?
Zits don't come on your face until you turn 13.
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>From: sentience@pobox.com (Eliezer S. Yudkowsky)
>Subject The three stages of computer ownership
The three stages of computer ownership:
"The computer has 256MB of RAM."
"My computer has 256MB of RAM."
"I have 256MB of RAM."
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>From: gnb@itga.com.au (Gregory Bond)
>Subject Minority Oscars
Nice to see minorities being recognised in this year's Oscars.
Two of the winners were American.
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>From: dselesky@ma.ultranet.com (Don Selesky)
>Subject The right attitue about computers
Abandon all hope, all ye who press Enter.
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>From: malexan1@rochester.rr.com (Michael Alexander)
>Subject Spiderman movie one-liner
Obviously, the Green Goblin was never a boy scout. Never, never cut towards
yourself!
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>From: cchristensen15@charter.net
>Subject God didn't make us vegetarians
Seen on car: If God had intended us to be vegetarians, He wouldn't have =
made animals out of meat!
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>From: gglove@att.net (George Love)
>Subject Hollywood Breaks New Ground
The Scorpion King, an action flick starring WWF champion The Rock, opened
this past weekend and set all-time box office records for the month of
April. Just goes to show what involving a professional actor can do for the
genre.
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>From: arick@pobox.com (A. Rick Anderson)
>Subject Going Fishing with a Utah Mormon
Why do you always take two Utah Mormons with you when you go fishing?
If you only take one, he'll drink all of your beer.
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>From: ken.kuller@veritas.com (Ken Kuller)
>Subject News Service Folds
CNN has just won the rights to broadcast the World Origami Championships.
Unfortunately it's only available on paper view.
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>From: wb8foz@nrk.com (David Lesher)
>Subject It's where you look...
They've found most of those missing FBI laptops.
Seems RIAA & MPAA had confiscated them for containing MP3's and
pirated DVD's.....
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>From: rickhoover@aaahawk.com (Rick Hoover)
>Subject Naming Hooters Airline
On Thursday, radio talker Neal Boortz reported that owners of the Hooters
restaurant chain wanted to buy and run an airline. One listener immediately
supplied a name for the new company:
Derriere.
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>From: bradley@kri.ch (Bradley Richards)
>Subject Forestry
President Bush recently announced that restrictions on logging would be
relaxed. This is supposed to help prevent forest fires. Our local TV newsman
here in Switzerland (SFDRS) observed on the evening news:
"Once America had forests - now they just have Bush"
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>From: steve@advocate.net (Steve)
>Subject :)
I haven't been able to find my apartment - just realized it's because
I live in unit 404.
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>From: bobmaher@nwu.edu (bob maher)
>Subject I didn't know Jack Handy was online.
>From an internet sig:
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on
fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
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>From: banerjee@ucwphilly.rr.com (K. Banerjee)
>Subject Synonyms
If the Eskimos have a thousand different words for "snow," does this
mean the French have a thousand different words for "surrender?"
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Nicholas Cage recently found Michael Jackson's other glove.
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