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True story.

Over the long Thanksgiving weekend I was tasked with bringing the Christmas decorations up from the basement and trekking the Halloween/Thanksgiving decorations back down again. During one trek down the stairs, heavily laden with boxes, I slipped and luckily only fell about two steps before landing square on my behind. My wife yelled, "What was that thump?"

"I just fell down the $%^&*( stairs," I explained.

"Anything broken?"

"No, I'm fine."

There was just a slight pause before I heard, "Oh, that's good. What about my decorations? Are any of them broken?"

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